Rule 11: Be careful what you wish for

You might get it when you don't want it.

For example, when you ask for an Ascension service, you'll likely end up playing for it.

When you ask for a specific hymn, it will be added when you least expect it and aren't ready for it.

When you complain for years that we start phasing out the Easter music by Easter 3, your pastor will finally start keeping the Easter music alive through all seven weeks.... ... ... on the first Easter season after your dad dies when you could use a break from all the death/heaven/crying verses.

So, as the Spice Girls would say, Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it.

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The feeble struggle

November 1 marked All Saints Day, which many celebrated this past Sunday. Lutherans are in the End Times season of the church year, so many will celebrate "Saints triumphant Sunday" in the next couple weeks if they have yet to have that saints in heaven theme... And still many will not feel like celebrating. There's a whole group of people whose loved one died right in the middle of that season. Or who are about to die. Part of the challenge is that it's a day where you're supposed to be joyful. It's a day that is supposed to bring relief and comfort and peace. And objectively, it does. There is a peace that comes with knowing your dad's future (or now present) is secure. But there's a tricky thing about grief... As soon as you are "supposed to" or "should" feel a certain way at a certain time, you're pretty much guaranteed to feel the opposite. There actually are no "shoulds" in grief. You'll be happy...

Rule 10c: Seriously. Dou. Ble. Check.

There's a fun fact about this rule. No matter how many times you break it, you'll never learn. You'll get comfortable and forget to check which parts of the liturgy are actually in the bulletin. If you're lucky, your pastor will ask to do a quick run-through, and will point out all the missing lines you would have just played. But you won't always be #blessed like that. So just Double Check.

Rule 9: Pastors are friends...

Not food. When the Pastor starts super late after you've exhausted all your music and are 3 songs past the one you intentionally planned to be the last one... (Pastors are friends, not food.) When the Pastor skips ahead 3 pages right to a song that you don't even have open yet... (Pastors are friends, not food.) When he realizes 10 minutes later and goes back to the part he skipped, right to the song you closed because he moved on, and naturally gives you no warning ... (Pastors are friends, not food.) When he sends you the hymns on Saturday... When he changes the hymns... When he forgets to mention there's a soloist.... Just keep telling yourself through gritted teeth: we are on the same side... we are on the same side. we are on the same side. Pastors are friends, not food.

True confessions

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