True confessions

You might get it when you don't want it. For example, when you ask for an Ascension service, you'll likely end up playing for it. When you ask for a specific hymn, it will be added when you least expect it and aren't ready for it. When you complain for years that we start phasing out the Easter music by Easter 3, your pastor will finally start keeping the Easter music alive through all seven weeks.... ... ... on the first Easter season after your dad dies when you could use a break from all the death/heaven/crying verses. So, as the Spice Girls would say, Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it.

Keep them both in your bag all the time. Or have a spare in your car.  I don't care if the pastor told you the communion liturgy is from Divine Service II in the Christian Worship Supplement.  He might have actually printed the Agnus Dei from the Common Service. Bring the Christian Worship book too.  It doesn't matter if the pastor said the Psalm was from the CW. Because we are actually going with other version.  Throw in the Supplement before you leave the house.  You may have thought the email said the melody for "How Firm a Foundation" was from hymnal... But that isn't what it actually said.  So bring both.  And then double check before the service starts. 

It pays to double check. Make sure the same hymns he sent you are the ones on the board. Verify that all the verses you are planning on playing are actually in the bulletin. Confirm you opened the right psalm. (Did you accidentally go to page 66 instead of Psalm 66?) Double check that the liturgy the pastor told you is the same one that is printed. *Also validate that it is the same liturgy throughout the service.* Compare the liturgy with the bulletin to check if all the responses are printed. (Did the pastor accidentally leave off the "The works of the Lord are great and glorious. His name is worthy of praise!" line that you are waiting for before jumping into the Hymn of Praise?)

Not food.  When the Pastor starts super late after you've exhausted all your music and are 3 songs past the one you intentionally planned to be the last one... (Pastors are friends, not food.) When the Pastor skips ahead 3 pages right to a song that you don't even have open yet... (Pastors are friends, not food.) When he realizes 10 minutes later and goes back to the part he skipped, right to the song you closed because he moved on, and naturally gives you no warning ... (Pastors are friends, not food.) When he sends you the hymns on Saturday...  When he changes the hymns...  When he forgets to mention there's a soloist.... Just keep telling yourself through gritted teeth: we are on the same side... we are on the same side. we are on the same side.  Pastors are friends, not food.

Similar to the communion rule, you should ALWAYS bring extra music. You never know when the Pastor will start the service 10 minutes late because of a wardrobe malfunction (this is what I assume happens when they hang out in the sacristy for what feels like a decade).  Or when the wedding will start 20 minutes late because the bride is nervous, or had a wardrobe malfunction, or because the groom needs to sober up, or the best man is missing or the rings are missing or the flower girl clearly missed nap time.  So just throw your standard favorites into your organ bag and keep them there. All. The. Time. 

This may seem pretty obvious, but I hate talking about death. People have said that I will eventually need to get used to having conversations about the important stuff, and can't avoid the pain forever. But that isn't the actual problem. I can't avoid thinking about death and the pain of it to save my life. Grief consumes you. The memories play over in your head on repeat. What I actually don't like is having theoretical conversations about death. I don't like Bible studies that are focused on death (Where O death is your sting? for example). I don't like sitting through sermons that are all about death and grief. I detest movies with a plot point where a parent dies. (See: any Disney movie, any Hallmark movie, Sound of Music, Hamilton, Princess Diaries, Freaky Friday, etc....) And it's because none of these are real conversations about death. That's right. You read that correctly. "But what are we supposed to talk about in Bible s...

It's a small church. You might think you won't even get through the long hymn. But then you will find yourself on Easter Sunday using up ALL of your post-service music and then some before communion is done.

While we are on the subject of Communion (See Rule 6), when the Pastor says, "We will sing the following hymns as time permits," it means nothing. It might sound like we are expecting to NOT get to all the hymns because the Lord's Supper will go quickly. But you would be wrong. So plan on needing a few minutes of extra music. And then double it. Just to be safe.

How communion works. Because when you finish the Agnus Dei, are scrambling to set up the hymns and any additional music and run up to the altar, you'll wish you had.

Duh, you might think. But when you switch into #lutheranliturgicalauto-pilot and are wondering why the Alleluia response hasn't started, it's because you're the one at the keys. That music doesn't just play it self. 

I don't care how experienced you are, or how dry and cracked your hands are. I don't care how well you think you're going to rub it in, or how little you put on.  Do. Not. Put. On. Lotion. Your fingers WILL be slipping all over the keys. So just don't do it. Don't. Trust me.

What time do you actually start? I'm not here to judge. Start early, start on time, start 10 minutes late. Just let me know what your normal start time really is, so I can start my timed preservice music at the right time. Ask this question: 1. When you're at a new church 2. When you have a new pastor 3. For each service (I.e. Do you start first service on time, but second service 10 minutes late because Bible class runs late?)

This applies to anything that could turn off: The keyboard, the organ registrations, the organ itself, the speakers, the mic (for instrumentalists/vocalists). So assume it will turn off after the sermon. Or after the creeds/prayers/any other long pause with no music. 

So don't even bother to check. Just jump right in. It'll be fine. Make it up as you go along.

After years of playing for church, both at our home church and at other churches around the country, Emily and I have experienced many many many many many mishaps. To save other organists, we have created a set of guidelines.

So many of you probably followed me over here from Caring Bridge, which was a blog I created to share my dad's story of his final struggle with cancer. But really, as we all know, that blog was never about my dad. It was about me. It was about my experience with staring death in the face. And after a few months of listless wandering after his death, it's time to get back to processing grief. And you're welcome to share that journey with me. It won't be pretty. I don't try to put a positive spin on it. Grief is ugly, painful, terrifying, and dark. It doesn't go away, it just takes twists and turns throughout your life.  So where are we at? When we last saw our heroes on Caring Bridge, it was Christmas Day. We have since followed our Lord from His birth to His death and resurrection. And let me tell you... that journey through the church year is completely different when it lines up with the first 5 months after your father, your spiritual head,...