6 months later...

We have made it half a year.

That sounds like a good thing. But it's actually really depressing.

I have lived 6 long months without my dad. It's been 6 months since I was able to talk to him, touch him, be near him. It's been 6 months since I was able to worship next to him, joke with him, watch TV with him, or just be with him.

I've lived through my first Thanksgiving without him, my first Christmas, my first Easter. We have had a few major life events: an engagement and a confirmation, both without him.

And unfortunately, 6 months is just the beginning. The first half a year is the tip of the iceberg of the rest of my life without him.

We have a lifetime of empty photographs where dad should be.
A lifetime of holidays without him. Countless family celebrations that won't include Dad/Grandpa/Uncle David. A lifetime of days where I can't text him, can't go out for drinks with him, can't get his advice.
A lifetime of being unable to feel him, see him, hear him.
A lifetime of being unable to laugh with him (or at him), cry at him, listen to him, or talk to him.

6 months without David Brandt is 6 months too long. And it's only just begun.

Ella's confirmation. Grandpa-less.

2 Corinthians 12:9 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

My niece was confirmed in her faith, and into the love of Christ on Sunday. And her confirmation passage reminds us all that God's grace is all we need. We don't need Grandpa at the confirmation. We have Christ. 

But that's a lot easier said than lived.